Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
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