Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
