i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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