i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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