is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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