Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
