What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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