i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i dont even know how to be here
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
