Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
