the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
