you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
