i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
