Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
