doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
