You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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