Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
