he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
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tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize