I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
