Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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