This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
