In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
