He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
