she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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