Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
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Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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