Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
