I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
