No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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