Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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