i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Someone shattered a urinal.
ttyl tear gas
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
