even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
