nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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