i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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