Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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