the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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