Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
wow bdsm is so cute
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
