Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
