SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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