the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm passing your future prison.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
