found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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