how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
