Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
