I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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