My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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