is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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