I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I bet he comes in French.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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