I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
