That's intense
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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