Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
