porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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