All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Randomize
