i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I think I just sharted jello shots
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