He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
