I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
