I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
