Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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