i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
