are you still at the devil's house?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
she looked like the before picture.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
