it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
