I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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