Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
