How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
