Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
