Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
